I've been thinking a lot lately about this very simple aspect of keeping a blog:
When you need them most, they are there...sometimes when little else is and few people are.
But, when you no longer need them, it is time for them to go away, or at least change or shift.
Do you see where I'm going with this? Oh! And where-I'm-going is not that I'm giving up blogging, so don't worry about that.
I've been thinking about all of this since a few things have happened recently...One, is that a notable handful of very beloved blog-ladies decided to close up shop, because it had just run its course in their lives. This prompted me to think about what sort of a forever-mutating place they (the blogs) have in our day-to-day.
The other is that I, myself, Emily Blackapple have found myself needing the blog and blog-land less and less. I still want it in my life. I love it still, of course, and have no plans of giving it up, but I don't exactly need it so acutely now, do you know what I mean?
There have been times over the last year (especially the lonely Brooklyn days, good god) that I received so much comfort by way of the tiny network of voices whispering "you are not alone, you are not alone". The voices weren't only comments on Inside a Black Apple, or even emails necessarily. Often they were other people's photographs on their own blogs, their own admissions of vulnerability or weakness, their stalwart self-awareness and thoughtfulness. So many like-minded people that I could look to and say, "There are so many people that like the same things as I do, that value what I value, they're just scattered". Beautiful packages from friends-through-the-wires. The lovely and differing ways in which other people choose to run their lives, and allow a window in. The dedication to "curating your own world", as I put it in this particularly sad post from last summer. I think it was re-reading that post that finally drove home the differing things that the blog means and has meant to me over the year-plus that it's been chronicling my life and cottage industry.
For the foreseeable future, I promise that I'll be right here. I love it here. And I'm so sorry if this has been a meandering, tedious post. It will be back to the regularly-scheduled arts and crafts tomorrow, promise. I guess I just wanted to say that I'm so very grateful that I found you, and you found me, at just the right time...I suppose, at the Mary-Poppins-time.
PS: Thank you, dear Beth, for making me aware that my brain is a mush of fictional nannies that caused me to previously attribute a quote of the far lesser nanny (the one called Mcphee) to the one that is Practically Perfect in Every Way.
Comments (51)
I would definitely miss you if you retire from the blogging world. I look forward to visiting almost daily.
XOXOX
Rhonda · June 06, 2007 at 02:41 PM
although i've never commented here before, i love to visit and check in here (and at the new blog).
you are always just right, just the way you are, emily. when you need us we'll be right here too.
xxx,
heidi
heidi · June 06, 2007 at 02:50 PM
Well I am certainly glad to know you will still be here!! I love to stalk...er...read you daily! I'll have a seat on your bench...and even share my cookies, as I plan to go nowhere soon ;)
Tuesday · June 06, 2007 at 02:51 PM
i'm thankful that your here. and thankful that you kept reassuring us (and yourself, maybe?) that your not going anywhere. because a life without blackapple would be a life less inspired, less whimsical, life indeed.
cristina · June 06, 2007 at 03:09 PM
I have had these thoughts many times- MANY TIMES. What does this mean? why do I do this? could I just pack-up + walk away? would I want to? I think I'm going to keep going until I go through several weeks + stop + think, oh yah, I forgot about my blog. It made me sad that a couple sisters closed shop, but everyone's time will come. I'm glad you are not there yet.
shona · June 06, 2007 at 03:09 PM
:)
nice-etc · June 06, 2007 at 03:19 PM
I am so very new to the whole blogging habit...I've only been at it for a few months. I often think about why I do it...I hope to be sincere and real...above all myself, and share a little of what makes me tick.
I think you hit the proverbial nail on the head when you wrote: "There are so many people that like the same things as I do, that value what I value, they're just scattered". I love that....it's just perfect. : )
I'm so glad your lovely blog is here, I come and visit every day....it's a bright spot in the day....like waiting to have a cupcake with tea! : )
Marjorie · June 06, 2007 at 03:38 PM
I need my blog as a sounding board. Otherwise, I'd be creating in a vacuum...and I mean an actual hoover upright because I'd be mad as a hatter felting dust bunnies. :)
The blogosphere is my lifeline to a world outside of hillbilly heck (where I live).
kiwi · June 06, 2007 at 03:54 PM
I completely agree with you, I have recently moved to San Francisco and finding the etsy community and blogs have given me a lot of self confidence and help with my life. It has thus helped me find out who I am and what I am good at which I did not get when I was in Ohio where I am from and I think every part of your blog and other blogs I read and being a part of etsy has helped with that. And for that I thank you :) You are awesome and I love reading your blog and seeing what you are up to.
Lauren · June 06, 2007 at 04:03 PM
I have been reading your blog for ages...lurking in the shadows...and it is because of you and your wonderful work and your captivating blog that I have now just started my own blog. I am so timid in this new blog world but you inspire me...so you musn't go...you are my daily read!
xxx
Gina Lee · June 06, 2007 at 04:13 PM
Hi Emily!
Loved reading your entry today. I am very glad you will keep on blogging too, I don't think I could ever stop blogging or reading my favorite blogs every day/week.
Keep up the great work!
Have a wonderful day!
Kim · June 06, 2007 at 04:13 PM
I do understand what you're saying and hope I understand what you're feeling. I'm still very new to this, so I'm in the "I can't believe so many people like what I like and share their thoughts about it!" stage. However, as a reader, I notice many of my favorite bloggers evolving out of their blogs and I think this is normal. I love your blog and visit it regularly, but if you ever did have your own Mary Poppins moment, the kindest thing any of us could do is say, "Up, up and away!" Though, I'd miss the glimpses into your world.
Laura · June 06, 2007 at 04:33 PM
"There is something you should understand about the way I work. When you need me but do not want me, then I must stay. When you want me but no longer need me, then I have to go. It's rather sad, really, but there it is."
-Nanny McPhee
Now here's my question: did she steal that line from Mary Poppins??? Regardless, it's a delightful story, and movie (both of the ladies').
With that being said/asked, I understand what you mean as I have felt similarly. But how we would all miss you! Glad you're sticking around for a wee bit longer. :)
Beth · June 06, 2007 at 04:41 PM
Right - I'm finally delurking - ta daaaaah!
Emily, seeing your world and your art rocks so much. You seem to have such a perfect sense of your own aesthetic, whether you blog or not, you are totally wicked. Although . . . if you stop . . . how will I be in the Shoppe Update Loop and finally snag one of your lovely works? Oh deary me . . .
Keep it up, feel the love and enjoy your Mary moment! x
Alex · June 06, 2007 at 04:46 PM
This is the best post! You shouldn't apologize for sharing what's in your heart, that's what art is, in fact. This touched me today because I understand what you mean.
Edith · June 06, 2007 at 04:51 PM
Oh, my, you scared me. Glad you're still going to be blogging -- for the time being, anyway!
Kitty · June 06, 2007 at 05:00 PM
Oh, how I agree! I'm on the other side of the tracks--brand new to the blogging atmosphere and feel the same "need" and newness that you once did. But, like you say...there are seasons for everything.
And....as Mary said..."I will stay until the wind changes."
I hope the wind doesnt change anytime soon and you are here for awhile longer---I do love visiting your little corner of the world...
Quirk · June 06, 2007 at 05:08 PM
I hope you do continue to blog. You open up many different ideas, art and fashion and I will I'm at the pulse of all things hip. I look forward to reading both blogs and hope you stay with us awhile. Whatever you decide, myself and all of your other readers (fans) will be just an e-mail away.
Michelle A.
Michelle A. · June 06, 2007 at 05:12 PM
well said...
Courtney · June 06, 2007 at 06:32 PM
If you did stop - how will we be able to 'talk' to eachother without really talking to eachother?
oooh that was abit deep!!
shannon · June 06, 2007 at 07:01 PM
I visit your blog everyday! I come in to work, check my personal emails and all my blog sites before really working. I LOVE to see what you have picked from Target and transformed into something 10 times better, I never post, but I love to read it and see the new things in the shop... please don't leave!
Jessica · June 06, 2007 at 07:17 PM
Just wanted to chime in to say also how the "you are not alone, you are not alone" is something I have thought as I started discovering blogs and blogging. For the first time after an uprooting move I was able to find like minded people sooner and not be so lonely.
Thanks for your thoughts and inspirations.
Donna · June 06, 2007 at 08:32 PM
you have very eloquently described why it is I blog and who it is I have found through it...you see you lonely Brooklyn days are probably a lot like my lonely Columbus days...800 miles away from what I always thought of as home, and sometimes too much alone time, me, my thoughts, and of course all you out in blogland making me feel like wherever I am...I am home.
xoxo
stilettoheights · June 06, 2007 at 08:51 PM
Hi Emily,
I haven't read ALL your archives but your links (to other artists, or magazines or books) and thoughts are so inspiring to me that I have gone through some just to see what you had to say in earlier times! But I actually had read the post you linked to above, and didn't find it at all sad...just reflective and very honest. The world of craft bloggers does tend to post homey, cozy, warm little snippets from their lives and it's wonderful to read--like Martha Stewart, warmed up 1000 degrees--so I had thought it was very honest of you to pop the bubble and admit things can be dark. I mean, of course they are. But what you do so wonderfully is show how you've turned your corner of the world into a creative and interesting place to be, and for me personally, being a mom who is sort of out of the loop now, and wasn't in a creative job to begin with, it's been so enormously beneficial to me to see what you ladies are doing with your lives--whether it's an icing recipe or special tea towels (I was gone and missed them!) or showing your latest work, it is just so fun to read and incorporate parts into my own life. Life definitely shifts and evolves, but you are such a talented writer and wonderful artist that it would be a big loss to the rest of us if you stopped!
Helen · June 06, 2007 at 09:17 PM
Oh wow. This was a GREAT post !
Thank You.
It was very honest and well said.
Reflective of many a blogger I am sure !
I just found you tho - Don't quit now ! and ! there is a Blogging Magazine coming out ...so I think a whole new school of peeps will be coming thru.
You will be The Inspiration for them to start thier own Blog Journry, I am sure !
Love, S.
Art Tea Life · June 06, 2007 at 09:33 PM
ahem:JOURNEY
Art Tea Life · June 06, 2007 at 09:34 PM
Miss Emily,
You have always been the real deal. The reason I keep returning to the rabbit hole, daily, if I must confess, is because of your vulnerability and your sweet ability to make me feel like I belong somewhere in this sometimes dingy, but ever so amusing world of ours. Not to mention, you are an amazingly talented artist that inspires me on a daily basis. The clouds come and go my dear, so always be armed with a brightly colored umbrella. Much love sweet pea!
Stephanie · June 06, 2007 at 09:43 PM
Terribly sorry to be pedantic and all that, but the referenced idea actually comes, originally, from Nurse Matilda, on whom the dear Nanny McPhee is based...:
http://www.amazon.com/Nurse-Matilda-Christianna-Brand/dp/0747576750/ref=pd_bbs_sr_3/002-5990882-1865645?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1181181269&sr=8-3
J. · June 06, 2007 at 09:59 PM
Love these thoughts and recently had been wondering myself if blogs had a personal "shelf life". As I watch my own posts dwindling from 13 a month to last months all time low of 5 measley little posts. On the other hand my posts in recent months are much more interesting(to me anyway) than those earliest posts.I enjoy popping in on you,and you ar still one of my faves,I love your world almost as much as I love my own.
Lisa-Gabrielle
Jungle Dream Pagoda · June 06, 2007 at 10:21 PM
Emily,
I am yet another masked and anonymous daily reader of your blog who had yet to comment until this post. (It's amazing how an entry like this can make us all come out of the wordwork, right?) :)
I was also very touched by this post and was wondering if you have considered slowing down your postings. I imagine blogging is a very time/ energy consuming endevor. Would it alleviate some of your doubts/ stresses if you did not update every day? I am always floored at how quickly you keep us all up to date and how fast your amazing art leaves your brain and graces our eyes.
I think all of your readers would support you if you slowed down a bit. Your blog truly IS such a bright light in peoples' lives and an inspiration to so many.
Secondly, I think your blog might be a factor in the success of your cottage industry. Don't get me wrong, now. Your work is truly amazing and could stand on its own two feet. I do think, however, that your blog causes many people to fall in love with you and your work. You allow people to feel personally connected with you through this blog. I know that many enjoy art because of the intimacy they feel with the artist. What better way to accomplish that in this technological age than by your current method?
Wow, this is getting long.
To close this comment/ letter up, I think that if what you are feeling is that blogging is becoming obligatory or sucking too much time away from a wonderful life you so deserve, slowing down may be the way to go.
I don't think any of us would mind waiting a bit longer to peek into your life. If anything, it would be like Christmas every couple of days.
Much love from a small college town in Kansas.
Masked and Anonymous
Maked and Anonymous · June 06, 2007 at 10:35 PM
Here, here! I feel you on the blogging thing. I totally could have written the same post. One has to live life in order to be able to write about it!
Delaney Gates · June 06, 2007 at 10:53 PM
you are so spot on!
love everything you're saying...
meg · June 06, 2007 at 11:45 PM
Haha, you're welcome! Although, I do adore Nanny McPhee...
:P Beth
Beth · June 07, 2007 at 01:45 AM
Emily,
I don't have a blog of my own, buy I visit those of others for many reasons. Particularly for inspiration. It's also a kind of support system. Like a silent partner. So many beautiful blogs (the women behind them really)telling me, "Hey, you can do this too. Here, let me share with you. Let me show you how." I have told another creative blogger (Lori Marie)that blogs inspire me to be a better housekeeper, a better mother, to see the little things in life that make everyday special, and to allow myself creative expression. I appreciate all the bloggers who are so willing to share so much of themselves, who continue to inspire us all. Thank you Emily!
Kristine · June 07, 2007 at 02:10 AM
Just wanted to say thank you for continuing to share yourself with us :) It's so lovely to be able to drop into your blog and see that somewhere out there, you are still being you.
xo (random hugs from a stranger, haha!)
Annalise · June 07, 2007 at 03:35 AM
I think our blogs are like good friends.Sometimes we need to see them everyday to feel better and other times we just need to know that they are there.We can pick up from where we left off no matter how long we've been apart.Everyone needs a friend like that!
Kristy · June 07, 2007 at 04:18 AM
Emily, you may no longer need your blog so much but i'm sure there are people out here who still need you. : )
lara · June 07, 2007 at 06:04 AM
lovely post, emily. i am a recent convert to your blog, and just wanted to say i enjoy it very much. i really appreciate that mary poppins comparison, she is my favourite.
melissa · June 07, 2007 at 07:22 AM
I love your blog and it's the first one I check daily. I'm really inspired by the way you earn a living oing what you love and hope I can end up in the same position eventually. So glad that wasn't an "The time has come to say goodbye" post! Phew!
cassie · June 07, 2007 at 09:24 AM
I don't know what to add to this comment that others have so eloquently penned. I have never commented on your blog before; which is a shame because I read it on a daily basis. You bring a light into my life and give me inspiration in a way you will never fully understand. I love your viewpoint on the things and the way you express yourself in your art. Please keep on blogging and don't worry about the need or not to keep doing so. What do you WANT to keep doing is the question.
Thank you again for sharing yourself and your talents.
Amy · June 07, 2007 at 10:37 AM
Well I am glad you are not leaving the blogging world. Sometimes I don't understand this place. I don't expect people to blog every day or to blog long picture filled post. I hope others out there aren't like that.
Abby · June 07, 2007 at 11:09 AM
No other blog makes me as happy as yours when I see a new post on bloglines. You really do brighten my day. Thank you for being so personal and honest with all of us who love you.
Sarah · June 07, 2007 at 02:15 PM
Very well said Emily! Last week I was watching Labyrinth, for the same reasons that Sarah has at the end of the film, because I needed the characters and what they represent. (Well, that and David Bowie in tights.) The opening of your blog reminds me of that scene. "When you need us...."
Megan · June 07, 2007 at 03:16 PM
What a wonderfully honest post. Thank-you for sharing.
peachpops · June 07, 2007 at 03:29 PM
i know what you mean! i wonder what it´s going to be like blogging from the states. while in ecuador i really need the blog world to keep me connected to things i don´t have here, but what about when i´m in denver??? i hope you stick around for awhile because i would miss you terribly.
risa · June 07, 2007 at 03:51 PM
I love seeing your artwork, and I visit every day. I found out about you from a tag on someone else's blog (livingthebeautifullife), and how would I have ever discovered you if you didn't have a blog? :-) It is people like you who inspire people like me--I have dreams to become artsy in the very near future, and you prove that we all can do it. Cheers to you!
MB · June 07, 2007 at 04:41 PM
Don't worry Emily, slow down a bit, and go outside enjoy the real birds singing... People who feel their life without your blog will be less meaningful, begging you to keep feeding their daily curiosity really need to get a life on their own! We all love to read your blog, but everyone needs a break from the world sometimes, no apology.
Write once a week, and live in between!
Anne · June 07, 2007 at 06:27 PM
wow. can you read one more?
love the BlackApple blog......so relieved that you were only thinking about.......that. I Love your art and inspirations! I am glad you got such a worthy response! xxxxooooo
eydie · June 07, 2007 at 09:56 PM
I'm on my fourth blog, myself. I think a blog can be like some friendships -- when you first meet and become close, there are things that bring you together, but eventually those same things become limits. In the case of a blog, you start writing because you have something to share or work out in your own head. Eventually, when you gain an audience, they have certain expectations of your tone, topics, frequency of posting, etc. You grow, but your blog may not.
Kay · June 08, 2007 at 01:45 PM
This is such a beautiful post.
Jill Doughtie · June 08, 2007 at 02:25 PM
emily - I've been reading with you for months now and just have to say: I'm oh-so-glad you're not closing up the black apple blog. I've become so attached to my favorite blogs for comfort, inspiration, a bit of delight, and yes, like-minded company, that I'm always a bit sad when life takes hold and things must change. Inevitably, they must, I know - but for now, I'm sure glad you're still here.
sarah · June 08, 2007 at 03:55 PM